Ladies and gents, look no further I've found the worst song ever written. Toe-curling doesn't come close, the simultaneous power to make the blood boil and the soul curdle, truly epic in its awfulness. Included here with on-screen lyrics just so you can appreciate the full majesty of its metaphors, the extraordinary precision of its diagnois of late Capitalist life. Make sure you've got someone much smaller/weaker than you around to beat up after you've seen it otherwise self-harm may ensue.
Don't say you weren't warned.
4 comments:
I think I was in B&Q, of all places, when I first heard this. It does rather make you want to claw your own eyes out, just so you can stick them in your ears.
i was in my local gym when the horror struck (nice to see that despite, y'know, being bookish fops we can also do the whole generic manly-pursuits thing too....)I feel that it IS worse than previous title holder Joan Osborne's " If God was one of us" and close contenders,.. ahh fuck it i'll just blog them...
dear blogredaer, where were you
Just to make things worse, her record label pretended she was some genius singer they'd found under a leaf or something of the kind and that she'd made all her great songs whilst living a shell, rather than the facts, which were she was some highly manufactured piece of zero.
I'm not suggesting this song isn't the worst ever (it's certainly a contender), but... I dunno. It's just such an obvious choice.
Thom is pretty universally loathed by Proper Music Fans all the time, but then you have the Sigur Ros and Arcade Fire albums from 2005 and 2006 or whatnot... there must be some contenders on those grimacing parodies of 'beauty'.
But I have to say the real worst songs are the ones that are so bad I end up loving them due to the sheer audacity of the performers in foisting them on us. 'Heaven is a Halfpipe', 'Witchdoctor', 'Re-e-e-e-wind': amazingly bad, but thrilling in their sheer barefaced cheek.
Then there are the songs so bad they transcend the above, whose utter opposite of goodness overpowers the audacity=respect rule and spits them back into the pit of loathing. 'Mi Chico Latino', 'The Bad Touch'. Way more loathable than any MOR songs.
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