I toyed with the idea of buggering off, I toyed with the idea of deleting the blog etc. but actually I'm simply going to transform it. I am not the same person I was when I started this about five years ago, and I'm certainly not the same as a writer, I don't think. I am writing (fiction) on and off and my style has become simpler and simpler, so looking back on earlier work is a bit painful.
I'm also, I have to say, optimistic about the future, and not just on a personal level.
A couple of months ago I rang an old friend to meet up for a drink and had to talk briefly to his wife, who doesn't really like me. Later he told me she'd said, "Carl sounds different, he didn't try to make a single joke."
She was right, Ahhh, free at last!